How To Make A Kid Cry And Get Paid For It.


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A boy, maybe four or five years old, is sitting with his parents in the Holiday Inn lobby where I work. The boy is screaming, throwing candy, toys, and in general causing a racket. While checking out the guest in-front of them I hear:

Boy: “I don’t want to go and you can’t make me!”

Dad: “You know what? Fine. We’ll leave you here. Come on, honey.”

So he makes a big spectacle of gathering his wife’s purse and bags. The boy looks extremely satisfied. So I decided to join in with the fun.

Me: “Oh, no! Don’t do that, Sir!”

Boy: “Why?”

Me: “That’s what my parents did to me when I was your age! The hotel let me stay in my room and they put me to work to pay for it!”

Boy: “They wouldn’t do that!”

Me: “Well, I was too young to work the front desk, so I had to crawl into the chimney to clean it, because I was the only who fit.”

(I cast a glance toward the fireplace in the lobby)

Me: “You could probably fit in that one just fine.”

Any skepticism on the boy’s face is now long gone. He burst into tears and runs over and apologizes to his parents. His mom calms him down. as the family leaves, the dad hands me a 100 dollar bill and mouths “thank you” at me. I made a kid cry, AND I got a huge tip!